REST EASY IN YER BEDS....THE PLANET IS BEING SAVED - AGAIN!!

Yes folks, we´ve actually been saving it for 7 WHOLE DAYS now....7 excrutiating, painful, agonising days of getting up at 6.00AM, getting a beat up old bus to work, having only ONE HOUR break, before leaving at 3.30....This is indeed a tough life we are leading...Let me explain...

Now then. what does our new job entail? Well, in a nutshell, we´ve been up to our EYEBALLS in shit and filth and rotting papaya (pigs love that) and cleaning everything is sight - pathways, cages, walls...feeding all sorts of lovely creatures - some I´ve never seen or heard of in my entire exsistance....I mean have YOU EVER heard of a Tepezcuintles, eh eh?? Well let me tell you they´re just wonderful little creature things with huge eyes and spotty backs and long licky tongues and they like to stand on your welly boot and try to bite the buttons off your shirt when you´re hosing down their shite. I LOVE ÉM!! Wot else we got here....tapirs (4), a capibara (biggest guinea pig in the world), crocodiles (3), turtles (lots), spider monkies (lots) 3 jaguars, a puma, pigs (too many to mention), 2 lions, the most amazing birds and parrots you ever saw (ever clocked eyes on a Zopilote Rey? King vulture to you...bloody fantastically enormously wonderful thing it is)...a deer and her baby that wanders around, pinching your bananas out of your bucket when you´re trying to feed the parrots, an otter called Olly and 54 macaws that fly freely in the trees and some other things that pop up now and again, that I have no name for yet.

We also have killer birds here. Just the 2, but lethal things they are....One is a toucan who just flies around the project wherever the hell he wants, and the other is a Pava Crestada. This bird is at least 12´tall and has feet the size of shovels. Well anyway, this frigging Pava thing escaped the other day and appeared in front of me when I was very happily hosing down a pathway (such is the excitment of my job)...He started to make very funny gutteral sounds and then chased me down the path. ´Ha!´, I thought, ´this is only a mere bird, whatever can it have against me and whatever harm could it do´? Well, I soon found out. This bird obviously did have something against me ´cos it penned me into a corner, then jumped on my head and started pecking any piece of flesh it could find. Oooooer, it didn´t half hurt...
So I did the only brave thing that I could think of..I ran and hid in the toilet. It followed me, still quacking or clucking, whatever the hell it was doing, and stood guard outside the door. I was able to open the door about 2 inches to inform some passing visitors (with a small child), that it was probably best if they ran away from this spot as quickly as they could (all this in my very best Spanish, you understand). When all went quiet I opened the door again. The bird flew onto by back. I knocked it off and ran back into my haven. More visitors walked by. This time I didn´t warn anybody about anything. Hell, anyone who comes to a place like this has got to be prepared for unforseen consenquences. For a split second the bird´s attention was diverted by these new potential meals and I made a run for it. You´ll all I´m sure be most relieved to know I escaped relatively unscathed....
That is until the following morning when I was cleaning out the parrots. Aforementioned toucan would indeed be sectioned, if you could section toucans. ´Cos he likes to divebomb people. I put my head down for only a moment and, crash, his enormous beak came into contact with my head. A Tom and Jerry-like lump appeared immediately, playing havoc with the very attractive hair style I like to keep when I´m travelling. Yesterday, the very same toucan smashed into my forehead, this time producing blood and another very impressive lump. John´s been got only once, lucky bastard.

Apart from that, the job really is very lovely, honest it is...

As for the family we´re staying with...love and happiness oozing out of their every pore - we were smothered with kisses from Bella (mama) as soon as we arrived, who repeatedly tells us how much she LOVES volunteers, then kisses us some more. She force feeds us round the clock and watches as we take every mouthful, saying ´rico´(mmmmmmm - kind of), and ´lindo´ (lovely) at every available opportunity. She is one happy lady. Her husband laughs a lot. Her 9 year old daughter and 3 year old grandson jump up and down on my bed from the minute I get home to the minute I go to bed. No-one speaks ANY English - this applies to EVERYONE at the wildlife centre as well. John sits quietly throughout this mayhem. He says the very minimum he can get away with, takes to his (very own) room when the jumping up and down on my bed begins, and obediently eats everything put in front of him. He had porridge for breakfast this morning. He is a happy man. I however think my head will explode before next Tuesday.

Ok people, there you have just a bried summary of the trials and tribulations of what it is to save the planet.

Keep yourselves pure and enjoy the weather.

Lots of love and kisses and hugs from me and the funny fella.

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